/cum inside

you

ocassional drinkers of cunt

everyday a different bar

who skull spirit

without tasting

how can you

hasty fat lips

sucking on yet another

teach me how to fuck

ME

the glamorous alcoholic

neck-choking grip on my one shot

for hours

'til the cunt melts

who drinks without swallowing

who knew all the flavors-

the infinite pussy

the triangular pussy

where the light shone

from your toes to your hair

tasted like pure sweat

the eternal

die your pussy blond cunt

we're goin on a trip

die your pussy black or red

we go to BA bored

don't even fuck

just talk about STD's

"kiss peace fuck" you used to say

"kiss peace fuck" now i 

kiss piss fuck another slut

to suck a cock on the sidewalk

thats pure lust i tell you

if you're fed enough

i bought you the fancy postinor

now can i cum inside you?

the urge to get drunk alone

done nothin' today
literally

didn't even brush my teeth

not even a shower

didn't go out, only food i managed to make

was a glass of milk

you could call this a vacation

i dont mind

what would this simplemind care about anyways

whole day, wasted

youth

wasted

but that's fine

there's no other beauty

than the urge to get drunk alone

you dont call over a sidehoe

you just sit at the table

alone

drink

as to celebrate the nothing you did

eloquent

facebook fed posts

of my highschool peers

who would explicitly

call me "not friend"

doctors lawyers married pregnant fat

why should i care

i dont envy any one of you

you railed up your own lives

on your own

my friends are fuckin in my bed

broken beer bottles and

a western widowed wife my

friends are fuckin in my bed

and ive nowhere to sleep

forgot a boozed bald bitch 

ive fucked alpra-wined 

with her dog lickin my knees 

sadly as i cum and go

the moon is dead youve killed him

ate him knowing he's the last benzo

now tell me who will light 

the skye next night?

full moon

Farewell, mockingbirds,

I hear you joust your early chirp,

the time is yet to come

Farewell saying no to M

my body drenched

elbows dead cold

Farewell nights of endless cock

the fear i feel cracks the skull open

Farewell worms cock like thick

spreading your goo on my shoulders

ive ignored you for far too long

yet now my flesh reflects

Farewell, cube

and all that return home safe

you've made a solid living

Farewell, masochist

living inside my skull

you are no longer welcome

the raven fled

the gold - mad

the clown

who's shown me suffering 

laughs at my grave

laughs!

there's nothin to pick upon

you shattered my soul

split half by half

the wonderful son

the reds boots crack over remnants 

of what bones used to be

Farewell cunts who i loved dearly

freeze to death in the dark if you will

mock me piss on me

-that

you can

shine for the eternal eye

Farewell wanker

you bottomless soul

i'm a mere self-portrait with an erection

Farewell

intrusive thoughts

you hold me close and tight, friend

/König

dated a blond from König

I was 15 and she was cute

we used to smoke joints and skip class together

once she blew me off on the floor of a parking lot

in front of her building

and spit the cum on concrete

she cheated on me and we stopped talkin

10 years later I dated another girl from König

she had a split die, unshaved legs, and was also cute

we used to speed date and play cards

once she abused me, felt guilty, and shaved her vagina

then she cheated on me and we stopped talkin

guess girls from König are like that

/a brief january

i have no parents
i was born from dust and
cum
of eros

my eyes-burning coals-
gaze into yours
would you bleed if i cut you
or would you burst,
as me
the mountain of steel!

i feel "i" is too small
to fit a body of mine

I,
the sole two lips of ardor
humbly roar
to scum and slaves and
whores: I owe
my body's youth
to you
take it without hesitation
crawlin on all fours
mouths wide head first

/december

my mother
upon finding out i watch porn
told me its all a big lie
and i should stop
now i make a girl squirt
all over her bed and wall
to realize the lie
was hers
and how many 
fucks are enough
two? eight?
and does anal count?
you again
found like a bukowski
came home drunk with a girl from H
to destroy a masevnina painting
didnt take long
took her from behind
she said "baby it hurts"
i said "its all in your mind"

/to do list

to commit petty crimes
and pitty fuck a stranger
who you just thought you knew

"i used to do pit fucks
before i met you"
now you do coke and meth
and round the corner-
death
and christmas

"do you want to keep your unborn child?"
asks the french nurse
and i cant even stand to look at it
its a little red russian fuck

a naked to be whore

got hard in the embassy

made out in the elevator

-wanted to take you there-

the blood on the wall

my eye witness

ocean of emotion, snakes with human traits and other green dragons

fled and left the lobster behind

to find a Dandelion

for tonights VIPs

whispered acted back and forth

we first touched 

next to the garbage bins

hands in one sole fist

but honestly, hun

that touch was plenty for me to fuck you

ran to fuchs late

IM GETTIN ENGAGED TONIGHT

fern for A for E

and OFF we go

fuckin in the music

bit your earring out

just to prove my flame

at four the soviet army passed

and ive lost you forever

plea of guilt

proposed in an elevator

kept on dancin still

for the hoe i once called my girlfriend

and in the end im just bored

waitin for YOU to cheat on ME

to have that perfect fuckin excuse

for a breakup

but you keep borin me

so hard that its me

endin up cheatin on you

again

but trust me

the random fucks are nothin

compared to the anxiety of waiting

'till you fuck up first

September 21

V

theres a way you move that attracts me

theres a way you smile that makes me forget

but the drinks and the mornings make me realize youre the one i truly love/

on the afternoons youre the one I fuck in the ass before paintin

in the evenings youre the one i take a bus with

a mother, a friend, a lover

"Noemi! Noemi! Noemi!"
I burst your name from the rooftop

"theres somethin wrong with my body!

i cant control a single heartbeat!"

my body of iron

as rough as they build 'em,

melting gently

over your chest

but what's a brilliant shape

of pure ferrouciousness

a brilliant necklase

to a body so pure

when I bleed

 -knives can't cut me-

will you inject my searing skull

my hands full of roots

into your own veins

without contempt?

I demand pure devotion

none less than of a machinery

conceiving every cog 

of my bare existence

the cock the cog of reproduction

the mind the cog of progress

the soul the cog of affection

you question my affection still?

I stole the Eiffel in your name

melted every single bolt

nail 

and pillar

into a chain-like lead sculpture

a key about to pierce your corpus

leaning afloat my amour-fed Zeppelin

 -what is affection 

if not a cloud of addiction

Why would I sit around

await your presence

you already let me in

you already expressed

your passsion and love

I won't be waitin

for your body to come and merge

I'm already outside

sole two pure lips complete

 -but await me in your sleep

Ill come ramming on your door late night

 -door chest and crotch

and you won't have the vigor to resist me

/august

no need to say it

we both like jazz

and the way i fuck you unconscious

on the bloody persian rug

im in my prime

65 kilos of brass thunder

falling again and again 

on your abdominal fat

made you cum just once

pussy ass clit took all

left nothin for the other fuckers

i told you "i love you" 

and fucked you blind

the persian rug a bloody mess

cus when i fuck you

love

i fuck you so that you stay fucked

/july

the two hours train

aint compensatin

for the whorey tranny

and bloody broken teeth

my accomplice vomits

on the sole toilet
bad move overall

you question my appetite

i await your call two three

"i want your dick inside me"

is all the love i get tonight

im fine

ive loved the luscious locks

ive drank the drunkster wine

as night has fallen

i had fallen

nigh the flawless sanctuary

where youve been fucked now

i sit

late twentythree

ani/anx

PERSONA: the happy moments hit the
uncomfortable ANX. You feel internaly
devourin your own stomach. She dances
entrancin you naked you just stare
the storm in the background. you ob-
serve silently, her imperfect body. elastic
rock'n'roll music, but your body rejects it,
lesser movements. Just pURE dancin,
you resent it, inTERNALLY. Your body doesnt
feel the rhytm. Your feelin of internal
vomit the feelin of sexual abuse.
You WANNA lay in the bed ALONE. the rhytm
takes you, unconsciously, she dances off rhytm
deconstructing theme. youre not here willing-
ly. you feel like VOMITIN each time she
approaches you. You don't FIND comfort
in her movement, rather upset in the stomach.
You won't slEEp with her tonight.
she tries but you can't feel comfy
w' her. You go to sleep with a headache.

june

oh to fuck you on the train

the countryside moving behind

your luminescent ass

i like to think of you

as an eternal lover

saw you near scala last night

im sorry

you dont feel so well

me neither i just

wish you are happy 

fuckin others

you went to prague and i missed u

now you dance somewhere where i wanna be

and i dont wanna kiss strangers anymore

theres too much rape in yesterdays anyway

i just forgot to send you the letter

got it written 

packed in a red anvelope

just forgot, again, to kiss you

when you left the loft

may night

again you stood in front

of me

nipples erect

by the broken

bottles of wine

red

and i felt again

i want you home

on my mattress

not to fuck just cuddle

cus bby i miss the mornings in lights

where you just lay naked

heartbroken and kinda silly

waiting for my body to erupt into yours

waiting for my body

and i miss the nights

where we both were

young and beautiful

⬛️our shadows

played a movie on the wall

may

people are so ugly here

me

im their king

rushed from alfa pissers

after an anxiety attack

my ex felt the same way

fucked a girl last week

just to see if i feel i dont

i walk through brno again

the city tied to me

cold and plundered to rock bottom

i miss you with my steel body

the way we touched

last time

the hounds were well fed

overeaten

dizzy vomit raw meat

lets meet in the ward again

lustily holdin hands

4/13/2021

bought a ticket
and off complementary wine
took the ride

mad naked disturbin Agasshi

Prague Main Train station tipsy

SMUGGLED a quarter kilo KISS

off to the rain

hooked up hookers red velvet lights

I'm only gettin stronger

mad RAVENS EYES

a couple Em's

took me for Aprils rainy streets

wheres the POLICE on cold nights

your appartment TERPENTINE scent

we r all Lesbos NATIVES at heart

couldn't quote Sylvia Plath

but you read the WORDS of my WATERY eyes anyways

Em's faded off to the night

gentle bedsheets

smoke of Chopin HAZED your personality chart

"eggs in the fridge bread above

let's meet halfway the lighthouse"

fought the urge to MASTURBATE

after trying on your coat

April 2021

Dreamt about meadows

and your cock emerged me

during these dandelions

I've never felt such accomplishment

as of Zdenko's muscular figure

disturbing my nightly ovations

on the bloomy fields

of vivid marshes

I dreamt

"a cigarette"

his eyes said

of vast fields

my eyes sparked his

"maybe later"

i should have said

about a girl

"one day i'll find you"
you told me once

now i sit in my girls kitchen, silently

waitin for you

n now you ask me

if i wanna cheat on you

and if an open relationship is okay

i mean

there's LOVE

cunt

do you respect such?

or do you prefer genitals

you wanna fuck other ppl - SURE

just dont include me please

i beg for pure love

but what i get

your lust for other people?

your wishes for nonconsensual flirting?

i dont need ANY of those

if i wanted to just fuck

id choose a skank whore

just thought YOU weren't one

and just the fact you wanna fuck strangers

doesn't mean i wanna

not when im "datin you"

i give you all my love

reject girls cus you datin me

reject girls cus of you

but your tinder is STILL ACTIVE

u still crave cock n pussy

the way u did

before

and i dont blame you

"you wont learn new tricks to an old dog"

i cant blame you for bein fucky

but you cant blame me for bein

oldschool n faithful

gave u all my love

if its not enough im sorry

but i cant give u more

and im not angry

but go

fuck n be happy

it'll give you the same joy

as i find

in writing this poem

and baby

it doesnt have to be you

who finds me

behind this poem

just I wait

for the one

to find meaning

behind these childish lines

just I wait

for you

March 2021

"Will we be able to fuck tomorrow"

baby i dunno

i ask why fuckin is important

after salivatin over your body for the past weeks
thinkin bout u in different dimensions, i hope, than anyone before

i hope
i mean
i dont fuckin care bout your body. enough. at least
n youre a fuckin machine
every part of u spells sex
some nights I want the body
some i need your character

when i do youre not around

⬛ pack of cigs wine n gin

always n we never talk

i bore u with art cus baby i dont care bout much else

and your body is a piece i wouldnt hang on my wall

guess i love you too early to make u uncomfy

just cus i get ur cunt easier that way

a letter for a flower

2:46 am
i came
you left for a quick shower
you left me alone
mistake
returned in 5 minutes 
felt like an hour
me
on a verge to a mental breakdown
the sweet urge for a mental breakdown
did some Wim Hof to fight it
broke down after the third try
- the point is - why

recalled your name from the conversation
and some other name from the conversation

but it was you who i bit recklessly
was you who answered my letters
you who spit on me takin the train

- i dodged

now the fog fell on bat country and tomorrow i wont remember your name

so just to remind myself
for tomorrow
and every tomorrow
its you 
who i wanna tear

wakin up late

i feel like every dream i had 
was a self performed lobotomy

i feel like my dreams once

reflected reality

will we be able to fuck tomorrow?

you texted me once

I came to you bare

only wearing my cock

came to you bare

to touch your heart 

-and still

broke up a thousand times yesterday

fuckin my friends while i hold your hand

but where's MY pussy

danced with you drunk

let go you fell 

spinnin

bashed your head against the radiator

but what's a minor concussion

to a wasted heart

x

early mornin
woke me, vomitin

but you were naked

lyin next to me

so who the Fuck

"Bloody Mary"

silent again, i kiss your back

your skin

flawless

milk n sweat

face soft as a Zikuška paintin

n what we did before was Zen

Yab Yum at least

from your lips

even the cheapest wine

tasted like Jesus blood

addicted, bit them whole night

z

i knew i wanted to fuck you

from the moment you came to my house

and i'm still lookin for the zoloft

i lost a month ago

you see

i thought about you

for a couple of months

and you never rejected me right?

right

so i should tell you

your eyes look pretty

and i wanna shoot you

with flowers and oranges

take you to a meadow

prepare a picnic

on a redwhite checkerboard cloth

pour wine in two paper cups

not a drop spilled

i warm you up with jokes

from my work or some shit

and you laugh

showin teeth, eyes bright

cheerful afternoon

but i wont cus

cus its all just

its all just

fuckin zoloft withdrawals

moulin rogue

naive i came to your workplace
brought you a jewel a friend made

thought you'd fall in love

with me

naive

I didn't even want your love

just someone to lay in bed with

who would kiss me

while i think about other girls

and kiss me 

and kiss me

and i was drunk every time

so excuse my fingering

it's probably you

who gave me the rabies anyway

though,

every time i walk around moulin rogue

i remember that one good handjob you gave me

i

i was always getting horny

listening to my mother talk about 

heavy metal band lead singers drug abuse in the car
swore to myself i would never ever ever try any

oh well

now i take the bus home

from Olomouc

and we didn't argue much

just enough 

we didnt argue much

and i didn't know

i'd be taking the bus home

again

in two weeks

with 2 beautiful hearts

broken

mellow streets

i feel you
in my arms
fallin for another man
and i dont blame you
fallin for another man
i mean
i dont care who you love
just give me pussy right
so i sit with my empty cock
waiting for you
returning from the toilet
called you a whore
during our last encontré
it was true, thats why you liked it
so much
so i sit on the bed waiting
hopin your anal burns

cus baby

i aint the sharin type

and i think about the last fuck

and the way your clit was rough

so go

fall for another man

ill never want you again

and ill love you forever

/movie about loves end

baby
you don't have to act anymore
there are no cameras
and I died in the movie anyway

took you like a whore 5 a.m.
in that perfect fucking princess bedroom 
was the thing you wanted, right?

left at 9
after stealing orange juice an apple
no love left
i guess
was the thing i wanted

echos in ochoz

took me to godless country
Jack
made me take off my clothes
nudie
as the day i got born
got me humpin trees
bloodstained shoes 
runnin barefoot in the woods
shown me dumps where deer sniff benny
forceslept with the pack
riggidy rackin hounds howlin with me
left to rot under poury skies

dreary woke, restless downpour

horečka

muselo to být v Alfě -
snad v Alfě -
jsme se poprvé setkali
já
ve spěchu za černovlasou dívkou
za vlakem do prahy
a nadějí kampy a veletržního paláce
opilej vykládám felákům o představách focení
kde tě transponuju do několika tónin nahoty
a ty
blonďatá a vyděšená
z mých hlasitých přátel
statečně pípáš do kamery
"čekáš teďka že se zvednu a odejdu, nebo co?"

"odjíždím na ukrajinu" -
ale ještě než -
něco se zlomilo
přicházíš ke mně domů - 
FOTIT SE -
oddaně nahá
procházíš si moje laky na nehty v záběru videokamery
a pak Floydi
kytarový sólo pro Syda Baretta
se očividně dá zahrát
i ve dvou
CHTĚLA JSI MĚ MRDAT
ale vyfotit tvoje bílý pozadí
na černým pozadí
je taky orgasmus

a pak horečka a ty nekonečný
halucinace v kyjevským apartmánu
honit si za tvýma zádama
nad tvýma zádama
a jenom doufat
že pro mě nejsi moc mladá
a drzá

a teď spíš v mé posteli
docela blonďatá
a nahá
střípky našich dětí
na tvých zádech
rtech
a v odpadkovým koši
a já
kouřím cigaretu venku
lásky v papírku

/up north

baby

it breaks my heart

when you’re crying in my arms

lets kick the can

for another two hours

talking about a meaningful relationship

my life is only powered by love

baby

you’re exactly too young

for my apetite 

but who cares

i just wanna take cheap morning buses

watch the gray clouds turn pink

listen to Floyds

and fuck you in the ass

//autumn in Kyiv

here we are
the children of Peroxide
and Nicotine
making out
for every camera
you could ever dream
of
“little gal
this distance
is killin’ me”
the hounds haven’t been fed for days
now they’re howlin’
like the couple of gays
we met last saturday
your skin tastes
so soft
under my lips
kisses from Kiev
lofts
all the way to your hips

/neukölln

cooking breakfast of Neukölln, Berlin, and You, smiling while I dance with a white figurine, brushing my teeth with you behind me happy

pouring coffee no milk as black as ravens your hair always pissed me off, appearing in every bed we slept on laughing for hours, running to ZOO and back in cold mornings

falling apart as i wash the forks, I left you shamelessly with regret, with Berlins’ melody of Bowies’ station to station to Neukölln to us nude

//blue

blue was her hands and wrists passing me a cigarette under cloudy skies

blue was my unborn babies sprayed over my fathers wedding shirt mixed with red

blue was my cold heart beating lies about love

blue as my morning beer-hangover breakfast vapors

blue for every cunt i sprayed with my bodily fluids cum saliva piss vomit blood

blue as my sugartalking coit-hungry eyes sweetening our conversational coffee

blue as BRNO main train station neon communist transprents

blue police lights busting gypsies for being gypsies and stealing friends wallets

blue fathers jeep becoming orange from my ex’s acidic wine puke leather stinks ever since he had to sell the car

blue balls during panic attacks in lofts and domestic anxieties

blue Korean bathing habits

blue which I hate the most of all words

blue as my old aquarium fishstink painted room

blue money with a man I’ve never seen and never will

blue your bruises weeks after I recklessly bite your neck drunk

blue pupils of a blonde I fingered before knowing I’d return to cunt so many times

blue to the Army blue come back blue never return blue fussy negotiations blue law compliance

declare war on blue

fuck in blue 

get ass torn in blue 

corporate schoolgirl office dresscode blue cut-holes in blue jean overalls cocks rush through them through you through blue

blue chains strapped to my ankles and wrists about to be shattered by dreams and hallucinated-dark fantasies

Nechala jsi ve mně havrany

a tvůj tmavej lesklej lak na nehty

se mě už dva týdny neDotýká

otevřete všechna okna

přece chcete vidět po parapetu protýkat tmu?!

Potkal jsem maminku

která před léty hrála na varhany a voněla dehtem

asi jsem dlouho nebyl na severu

abych pocítil tak hlubokej chlad

a Karolína mi nalívá vína

chce mě znova opít

abych s ní spal

zase až do svítání

Jarní déšť sprchuje nemocný cikány

nemám pro ně cigarety,

už dávno přestali jsme kouřit,

a tak než přečkáme ranní

bouři

máčka si půjdu koupit

//0koláž

U popelnice jsem našel černej rám vyplněnej sklem

A vzpomněl jsem si na tebe

A z petlahve modeluju tvoje žebra když je sádra tak drahá

Abych ti mohl být nablízku

A z poslední koláže zbyla jenom vitráž

A černobílá kostra

A teď chci jenom tvý levý žebro

A malou levou bradavku

A ruce popálený plastem

A antidepresiva zapíjený vodkou a dalším levnym chlastem

A moje kůže syčí

A pod mýma popálenýma dlaněma vzniká torzo dívky

A nemůžu uvěřit upřímnosti těch malejch prsou

Když na mě zírají

Skrz černej rám

Pohozenej u popelnice

A jenom tvý levý žebro

A levá bradavka

Mi připomíná tu pravou

napsáno na červené lampě

Tak jako starci na chmelu,

hledáme svou ___ v migraci holubů,

a jejich letních krocích,

po zmrzlé střeše,

a jako ptáci vracíme se zpátky,

do hnízdišť,

kde jednou nám bylo dobře.

Kde jsou všichni gejové a bisexuáli slovenských nocí,

se kterými hovoříme do tří ráno o izolaci a životě na samotce,

jen abychom ráno probudili se ve třech a mohli si říct,

že nikdo nezamrdal,

a kde je láska,

a cit v konzumním koitu,

a kde je láska,

patřící jen jednomu,

a kde je láska,

rozprostírající se do mých žil,

a kde jsou mé lásky,

utišující moje dlouhodobý deprese,

a kde je láska,

v domě odlétajících holubů,

kde je láska,

kterou jsem k tobě cítil,

tak hluboce a čistě,

kde jsou něžný slova lásky,

který jsem ti šeptal před spaním,

když jsme z okna kouřili poslední cigaretu,

řekni,

kde je láska,

rozlitá na stole jako včerejší fernet,

kde je láska?